Shalom

Today I am not feeling well. I have not been really feeling well all month. The only thing I can think about this is that God is calling for me to BE STILL as usual. I have moments when I try to 'figure it all out.' That is when I start wandering further and further from the Lord. When I relax and lean into HIM...something wonderful happens. Peace. I don't feel like I have to carry the weight of my life on my own shoulders. Question is: "Why do I keep trying to do it all myself?

If only, I could just learn to lean into the Lord EVERY day. I would be a much happier human being.

Thank you Lord, for letting me lean into you. You shelter me in the shadow of your wings and I am at peace.

Shalom...

I am so glad God is not a man. Though He became a man, Yahshua, He is NOT subject to this flesh anymore.

I am so tossed and turned by every wind that comes along. I thought I was more stable than this. I guess I was fooling myself.

I make a decision and then, one word of rebuff, or discouragement and I am off course or stalled. Why is that? What is it that keeps me from maintaining my momentum?

I get started and my confidence is high, and I start to share where I am headed and at some points I am met with encouragement and "atta boys." At the very next wave..."wham!" I am hit with a breaker of negativity that knocks the wind out of my sails! I have to change tack until I find the Wind again and in the meantime I am scrambling to keep my balance and not capsize!

Oh! Ruach haKodesh, Holy Spirit...Breath of God...breathe into my sail and keep me on course, else my little skiff capsize or run aground with hopelessness and despair.

When all else fails...

i have learned a valuable lesson today from the Lord. He is the ONE who can make things happen or not. He is the ONE who can do it all. i have no strength in myself. The only recourse i have is to look to HIM and TRUST that He has it all under control.

i have been up since 1:30 this morning, yet hinei lo yanum ve lo ishan, shomer Yisrael...He that keepeth Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps.

i have been trying to make decisions based on logic. Not smart when His ways are Higher than mine. ... i, i, i,....yes, I used a lower case i on purpose. For that is what it is... a lower case to His, I AM.

And so when all else fails, i will look to the hills from whence cometh my help! i will look to the great YaHuWeH...I AM.