Self-Sabotage

Good morning my friends.  I am feeling "green" this morning.   

Lately, dh (dear husband) and I are experimenting with our diet.  Now even as I write this, it resonates in my spirit... it is a "trying to push the edge of the envelope" attitude.  How much can I eat of my old foods and still keep my blood glucose numbers down? There is that, I still want it my way, rebellious attitude.  This is why I don't succeed on "diets."  It is basically, cheating!  Why do I do this?  I don't know.  Seriously.  

I know what is good for my body and yet I constantly "reward" myself with destructive things.  Okay, I guess I should explain.

Recently, we came upon the Rawtill4 way of eating.  So, we decided that we would try this as a transition way of eating, before going completely Raw.  For me it is a comfort thing.  Something about having a warm meal in the evening is comforting.  I need to find a better substitute for relaxing and winding down, instead of using food.   We did really good and were absolutely "clean" for ONE day.  I was so proud of us!   

We are running close to the end of the pay period and finances, so we don't have the variety of food that we had in the beginning.  So our food selection yesterday was a tad limited.  But instead of using the money we do have on good clean food, we bought junk instead.  Yes, you read that correctly...

It started with a cheat of cooked food at 2 pm instead of waiting till 4 pm.  I had some left over baked potatoes from the night before and tomatoe soup.  That doesn't seem so bad right?  I knew I was not supposed to have raw food after cooked food so....  I had chips and candy.  Yes!  

You got it!  I went on a binge.  I set myself up for failure.  So, once again I wasted money and my health on a bag of chips and candy instead of getting the things we need for more variety.  Granted, it wasn't that much money, but my blood glucose number reflected the binge.  

I think it was Kristina Carrillo-Bucaram that said, "You are eating today, for tomorrow."  Well, she was definitely right. Today is my tomorrow, and I can tell by how I feel and the numbers on my glucometer that I cheated yesterday.

I would like to say, "I have learned my lesson," but I know that is not the last time I will fall off the wagon.  I know that I need to be prepared and plan my eating, the night before, for the next day.  I need to get to the root of why I do this to myself.  I have seen too many amazing changes to turn back now and it has only been a couple of weeks since we started this journey.

Our life is truly in transition now.  Not just with the food but also, socially and spiritually.  We are about to move to a less expensive home.  We are making some religious changes, too.  We just moved to this little town 6 months ago and "I" am still trying to get acclimated.  I am striving to get out and be more sociable.  AND we are changing our food choices!  This is a lot to take on at one time.  But all of our lives are crazy busy like this.  We are constantly changing.  I just want to be changing for the better.

So, today is a new day.  I commit to One Day at a Time.  Today is the only day I have right now.  This minute is the minute God has given me and I desire to make good, healthy choices for me and my body.  

If you have these same struggles, it would be helpful if you could share some of your thoughts and tips for overcoming these temptations. And, what are some good substitutions for "winding down" at the end of the day, besides eating "comfort foods?"  

Please leave your suggestions and encouraging comments below.  

hugs and blessings!

Better Today than Yesterday

A few days before October first, hubby and I decided that we would embark upon a more healthy lifestyle.  At first, I found a video by Fully Raw Kristina, giving her testimony of her healing from hypoglycemia by eating raw foods.  I thought this was a gift from the Father to me.  I had never heard a testimony of someone so like me that was cured by simply eating healthy.  So we tried going completely raw and  I lasted until about supper time.  Then I was a goner.  But by the next day most of my neuropathy symptoms had begun to lessen.  So, we continued eating mostly raw until I saw Dr. Barnard was starting his 21-Day Kickstart.

Next we decided we were going to try Dr. Neal Barnard’s 21 day Kickstart.  After one day of adding in beans and grains and cooked food...my symptoms began to return and I just didn’t feel good.  So, we scrapped that idea.  

I have been following Kristina Carrillo-Bucaram and Megan Elizabeth for a good 6 months to a year now, on YouTube.  I love their videos and I think they are the picture of health.  I love that Megan is a rock climber and Kristina’s smile just lights up the screen.  I have been trying to add more fruits and veggies into my diet for some time.  I even tried the 21 day Reboot with Joe Cross, from Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead.  But nothing seemed to “fit” for me.

For the last 9 days I have been eating mostly bananas as Freelee suggests, and frankly I am getting quite tired of bananas...although I still love them.  I have been eating other things as well, not just bananas.  

I began reading Dr. Douglas Graham’s book The 80/10/10 Diet .  It is chock full of excellent information and I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in a raw vegan lifestyle.  It explains the reasoning and the science behind the raw food diet, in layman’s terms.  Easy quick read.

The other day I stumbled upon Freelee’s interview with her mom talking about Rawtill4.  Her mom has been eating all raw until 4PM and then having a high carb cooked meal with a salad for supper.  That sounds more like something that is doable for me.  There is just something about having a warm meal at supper time that is so appealing and comforting.  So, we have begun doing that.  

Today, by the grace of God, I stumbled upon Angela Stokes-Monarch’s testimony.  I cried through most of it.  While she was talking, it was as if she was reading my mail.  She was talking about me.  Her story sounds so like mine.  I could not believe it.  I would love to talk with her in person.  

After listening to her journey, I have found mine.  It took her 2 years to go completely raw and to lose 160 pounds.  Her story resonated in my soul and the biggest thing I heard was, be kind to yourself and begin with baby steps.  Don’t beat yourself up for not doing it perfectly …. Just be better today than you were yesterday.  

And so, I am content.  I am better today than I was yesterday.  I am making awesome changes. I am seeing a difference in my energy, my pain level, and just my overall attitude and outlook on life.  So, I will be recording my journey.  I pray you will come along with me.