Wow!

It has been a bit since I wrote...and today, this evening I feel the need to ramble a bit. So maybe this will make sense, maybe it won't.

Life is definitely not orchestrated by me. If so, things would go very smoothly and I would never have any worries or concerns. Everything I wanted would come to pass and no one would be mad at me or upset with each other. Life would be wonderful! AND boring!

I guess what I am learning most, is the lack of control that I really have and honestly...it is humbling. I am self-centered enough to think that my opinion matters and that people should act on my advice because... of course, I am right! Right? NOT!

I am also, becoming keenly aware that others are having as bad a time, if not worse than me. I have so many things to be thankful for, and I am. I am so grateful for the awesome husband God has chosen for me. What a blessing! The friends...true friends that I have are an amazing boost to my heart and mind. What would I do without you. And my family. Oh how I love them, dysfunctional though they are. If only they knew how much I ache for them. But that is another blog posting all its own.

So yes, I am thankful and grateful for the blessings of God.

But....

My musing this evening is: How does God see me? Oh, I know the standard answer "God Loves You" and that is true, but really...How does God see me?

A lot of references in my life lately have been about the church Laodicea in Revelation three. It is the last of the 7 churches...and I know that is significant but that too, is for another blog post. The comments by the Master Yahshua to the other churches are prefaced with encouragement. The church of Laodicea begins and ends with a rebuke. He is NOT happy with the church. Too materialistic for your own good and LUKEWARM towards the Savior. Neither Hot nor Cold. His admonishment is to return to HIM...look for HIM...invite HIM in...Otherwise He will spit you out of His mouth.

Wow!

I am beginning to sense a real move in my life and in the life of the body of Messiah. He, the Master Yahshua, is calling me to a greater intimacy with HIM. Not to put it off or I will be caught unaware when He returns for the Bride.

I have to agree with HIM concerning my spiritual state...(first off He is God!) and I know, and have known for a long time that my heart and mind crave HIM but the things, cares, and worries of this world are distracting me from running after the shepherd of my soul.

I will end with the words to a song that I wrote many years ago.

The bridegroom:

Oh, my dove

that art in the cleft of the rock

in the secret places of the stair.

Let me see

thy countenance,

let me hear thy voice for sweet is thy voice.

The bride:

I hear your voice

at the window of my heart

saying "Come away with me.

Make a brand new start"

I hear your voice at the window my heart

saying "Come away with me.

Make a brand new start."

Purity of Heart

'Guard your eyes that they may not look upon anything contrary to purity; your ears, that they may not listen to evil conversation; your mind, by banishing from it all suggestive thoughts; your heart, by stifling impure desires at their very birth.'
St. John Baptist de la Salle"

I don't know about you, but in this day and age of technology, this is an almost impossible task. I guess you would have to be a hermit or in a cloistered situation. Most people have TV of some sort whether local, cable, or satellite. And, of course, where would we be without the internet superhighway!? MP3 players, cell phones...the list goes on.

Noise, noise, noise everywhere. It is almost inescapable. Maybe that is why the Lord tells us to go into our 'closet' and pray! Even then our minds are racing with all the things we have to do, the appointments we must keep, the concerns we have for our loved ones. It is never-ending!

In Psalm 46:10 the Lord bids us; BE STILL and know that I am God. Achieving 'stillness' in our heart and mind takes work. We have to PLAN it into our day. The assaults on our senses have to be silenced and that takes effort on our part. But it is definitely worth it.

On my 'vision board' I have posted FIT CHOICES. This is a list of goals that I try to achieve daily. Now mind you I am not always successful but here is the list:
1. BE STILL
2. Move on purpose -- meaning, don't just sit around on your duff. Get some exercise of some sort. Most days I fall woefully short on this one. hmmm perhaps this would be the day to make this a focus item.
3. Eat 'consciously' - I know that sounds weird, but here's the thing. Most of us are gluttons and we are not aware of it. By glutton I mean, simply overeaters. We don't really pay attention to the food we put in our mouths at all opportunities and occasions. The family dinner table is almost obsolete as we opt for sitting in front of the TV or the computer. That leads to not being aware of what and how much we eat. And so we overeat. So, I have put that on my list of daily goals to remind myself: turn off the computer (we don't have tv), and sit at the table to eat.
4. HAVE FUN! Do something you enjoy doing every day. Laugh. Tickle someone. Read a book. Just do something that makes life enjoyable and not so serious.

And so I know you are wondering...where is she going with this? And what does any of this have to do with purity of heart?

My first goal for each day is to BE STILL. Spend some time with Jesus. My favorite part of the day and the part of the day that ALWAYS gets done. It is the one spiritual goal I have on a daily basis. The rest are temporal and affect the quality of my physical life, but spending time with Jesus is the most important part of my life.

I step all over people's toes, and wound their tender sensibilities most of the time. I don't mean to. It is definitely not intentional. I do this because of the NOISE of the world and it's temptations. I am human and I fall prey to "disordered bodily desires, disordered desires of the eyes, pride in possession"** just like everyone else.

And so, in the quiet space of my life when I am alone with Jesus, I find strength to be a little more aware of the world and its pleasures. He gives me strength to overcome these earthly sins so that my heart is made more and more pure in HIS eyes. And after all He is who I am living for.

**I John 2:16 New Jerusalem Bible

Chastity

Septmeber 10, 2008
Chastity"If you wish to prevent evil thoughts, let your eyes be modestly reserved, and make a league with them never to look upon anything which is not permitted you to desire."St. Gregory of Nyssa
For Reflection: St. Gregory of Nyssa recommends taking "custody of the eyes." What does this mean? To what extent do I take in through the senses that which is morally illicit - especially regarding chastity? How can I best follow St. Gregory's advice?

Custody of the eyes...

I was once given custody of a 14 year old girl. I was her legal guardian for a period of 3-5 months while her mother found suitable living arrangements. I had known her since she was a twinkle in her father's eye. Her mother and I were best friends.

It was my job to make sure she was sheltered, clothed, and fed. I was to protect and care for her just as her mother would have done. I was to make decisions and guide her with the love of her mother. And so I did.

Was it easy? No way! Did we have our times of unrest and disagreements...you betcha! Was she rebellious and stubborn at times! Of course, what teenager isn't?

And so it is with my "eyes" -- my natural inclinations. I have a choice. I can let my "eyes" wander where they will or I can take charge of them and shelter, feed, clothe, guard, and guide them to the ways of the Lord.

It is my choice...Or is it? When I gave my heart and life to Jesus, I became HIS! My life is not my own I belong to HIM. So the choice is not really mine except to turn to the Holy Spirit when I am tempted to stray.

Chastity is a word that we usually use to describe the life of a virgin. But with the Lord we are all virgins and our lives are to be chaste, modest, and totally absorbed in HIM, by our choice. Are we rebellious and stubborn...most of the time for me! But when I do rely on HIM and turn to HIM when I am tempted, HE is always there to take CUSTODY of me.

Praise be to HIS glorious Name!

Holy Spirit Hover

we were, indeed, confused, empty, in darkness, and buried in sin. But the Holy Spirit was "hovering" over us



How lovely a thought is that? Before we acknowledge Yeshua and begin to try to walk in the ways of God, the Holy Spirit; the Ruach Ha Kodesh...the Holy Breath of God HOVERS over us.



I just love that word HOVER. It brings to mind the way a mother watches her newborn sleep in the crib. Just watching with love so overwhelming that she cannot take her eyes away from the miracle at rest. Lovingly, making plans for the child's life. Imagining what they will grow to be and seeing a wonderful, bright future for this tiny bundle of helplessness.



And in a moment, the mother vows, to battle to the death, anyone or anything that would try to harm this precious little life! A fierce love that can turn on a dime from sweetness and life to turbulent fury. Woe to the culprit who comes against this child!



And then, at the slightest sigh from the infant, her reverie is broken and her focus returns to the caring, compassionate gaze that held her there in the first place.



And such is our GOD!



He sees us in our helplessness and need and sends the comforter to console us and let us know...He Hovers Over Us.



Blessed Be He!